The 90 10 rule in kissing is a guideline for initiating a kiss that suggests one person should lean in 90% of the way, allowing the other person to decide whether to close the remaining 10% of the distance. This approach helps ensure mutual consent and comfort, creating a respectful and enjoyable experience for both parties.
What Is the 90 10 Rule in Kissing?
The 90 10 rule in kissing is a concept that promotes consent and comfort during a kiss. It involves one person leaning in 90% of the way toward their partner, leaving the final 10% for the partner to decide whether to meet them and initiate the kiss. This method is particularly useful in new relationships or when you’re uncertain about the other person’s interest.
Why Is the 90 10 Rule Important?
- Encourages Consent: The rule ensures that both parties are comfortable with the kiss, reducing the risk of unwanted advances.
- Builds Anticipation: By allowing the other person to close the gap, it creates a sense of excitement and anticipation.
- Respects Boundaries: It respects personal space and boundaries, making the experience more enjoyable for both individuals.
How to Use the 90 10 Rule in Kissing
- Assess the Situation: Look for signs that your partner is interested in a kiss, such as maintaining eye contact, leaning towards you, or smiling.
- Lean In Slowly: Move in gradually, stopping at about 90% of the way to give your partner the opportunity to respond.
- Pause and Wait: Allow your partner to lean in the remaining 10% if they wish to proceed with the kiss.
Practical Example of the 90 10 Rule
Imagine you are on a date, and the moment feels right for a kiss. You slowly lean in, stopping just before your lips meet. Your partner then moves in to close the gap, indicating they are comfortable and interested in the kiss. This mutual approach ensures both parties are engaged and willing.
Benefits of the 90 10 Rule in Kissing
- Reduces Awkwardness: By following this rule, you minimize the chance of an awkward or rejected kiss.
- Enhances Connection: It fosters a deeper connection by ensuring both parties are actively participating.
- Promotes Communication: Encourages non-verbal communication and understanding between partners.
People Also Ask
How Can I Tell If Someone Wants to Kiss Me?
Look for body language cues such as leaning in closer, maintaining eye contact, and subtle touches. If they frequently glance at your lips or seem nervous, these might be signs they are interested in kissing.
What Should I Do If My Partner Doesn’t Lean In?
If your partner doesn’t lean in, respect their decision and don’t take it personally. They might not be ready, or the timing might not be right. Continue to engage in conversation and enjoy each other’s company.
Is the 90 10 Rule Applicable to Other Situations?
Yes, the principle of moving partway and allowing the other person to close the gap can be applied to other areas of physical intimacy and even in negotiations or conversations. It emphasizes mutual consent and participation.
What Are Some Alternatives to the 90 10 Rule?
Some people prefer to ask directly for a kiss or wait for a clear verbal or non-verbal signal before leaning in. Others might use humor or playful teasing to gauge interest.
How Can I Improve My Kissing Skills?
Practice makes perfect. Pay attention to your partner’s responses and adjust accordingly. Communication is key—don’t be afraid to ask for feedback or express your preferences.
Conclusion
The 90 10 rule in kissing is a valuable guideline for ensuring mutual consent and comfort. By leaning in 90% and allowing your partner to close the remaining 10%, you create a respectful and enjoyable experience. Remember, the key to a great kiss is communication, respect, and attentiveness to your partner’s cues.
For more insights on relationship dynamics and communication, explore our articles on effective communication in relationships and building intimacy with your partner.
