The 90 10 rule of kissing is a concept popularized by the film "Hitch," where one person leans in 90% of the way for a kiss, and the other person closes the distance by moving the remaining 10%. This approach is designed to ensure mutual consent and to make the moment feel natural and comfortable for both parties.
What Is the 90 10 Rule of Kissing?
The 90 10 rule of kissing is a guideline for initiating a kiss that emphasizes mutual interest and consent. By moving 90% of the way towards your partner, you signal your intention without being overly aggressive. The other person then has the opportunity to reciprocate by moving the remaining 10%, confirming their willingness to engage. This rule helps create a balanced and respectful interaction, reducing the risk of miscommunication.
Why Is the 90 10 Rule Important?
The 90 10 rule is important because it facilitates a more consensual and enjoyable kissing experience. Here are some reasons why this rule is beneficial:
- Promotes Consent: By allowing the other person to make the final move, you ensure that they are comfortable and willing to participate.
- Reduces Awkwardness: This approach minimizes the risk of misreading signals and helps both parties feel more at ease.
- Enhances Connection: The gradual approach allows for a more intimate and meaningful moment, strengthening the bond between partners.
How to Apply the 90 10 Rule in Real Life
Applying the 90 10 rule involves a few simple steps to ensure a smooth and respectful interaction:
- Gauge Interest: Look for signs that the other person is receptive, such as maintaining eye contact, smiling, or leaning in.
- Move Slowly: Begin by leaning in slowly, moving about 90% of the way towards your partner.
- Pause and Wait: Stop and wait for your partner to close the distance. This pause allows them to decide if they want to proceed.
- Respect Their Response: If they don’t move forward, respect their decision and gracefully step back.
Practical Examples of the 90 10 Rule
To better understand how the 90 10 rule works, consider these scenarios:
- First Date: You’re on a first date and feel a connection. As you walk your date to their door, you lean in slowly, stopping just before reaching them. If they lean in to meet you, proceed with the kiss.
- Long-Term Relationship: Even in established relationships, this rule can add a layer of excitement. It keeps the interaction fresh and ensures ongoing consent.
Common Misconceptions About the 90 10 Rule
Despite its simplicity, there are some misunderstandings about the 90 10 rule:
- It’s Not About Exact Measurements: The rule is more about the concept of mutual engagement rather than precise distances.
- Not a Guarantee: Following this rule doesn’t guarantee a kiss; it’s about creating a respectful opportunity for one.
People Also Ask
What if the Other Person Doesn’t Move the Last 10%?
If the other person doesn’t move forward, it may indicate they’re not ready or interested in kissing at that moment. Respect their decision and continue the interaction without pressure.
Can the 90 10 Rule Be Applied in Other Situations?
Yes, the principle of meeting someone partway can be applied in various social interactions, such as initiating hugs or handshakes, to ensure mutual comfort.
Is the 90 10 Rule Only for Romantic Relationships?
While it’s primarily used in romantic contexts, the underlying idea of ensuring mutual consent can be valuable in any relationship where physical contact is involved.
How Can I Tell If Someone Wants to Kiss Me?
Look for non-verbal cues like prolonged eye contact, smiling, or leaning in closer. Verbal cues, such as compliments or flirtatious comments, can also indicate interest.
What Should I Do If I’m Nervous About Initiating a Kiss?
Practice makes perfect. Start by building confidence in smaller interactions, like holding hands or giving a friendly hug, and gradually work your way up to initiating a kiss.
Conclusion
The 90 10 rule of kissing is a thoughtful approach that emphasizes mutual consent and comfort, making it a valuable guideline for both new and established relationships. By moving 90% of the way and allowing the other person to close the distance, you create a respectful and enjoyable kissing experience. Whether you’re on a first date or deep into a relationship, this rule can help ensure that every kiss is a shared and meaningful moment. For more tips on building romantic connections, explore our related articles on effective communication in relationships and understanding body language.
